A while back I read a number of books by Buddhist author Pema Chodron. The Places That Scare You, The Wisdom Of No Escape, Welcoming The Unwelcome- and I think there was one more. I read them back to back and just kept getting the message of- self kindness. A lot of her teachings revolve around developing unconditional friendliness toward oneself and others. As I read, I reflected on how it can be difficult at times. We can fall into self talk that is really not helpful- maybe thinking it’s helpful to beat ourselves up. Maybe sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. One thing that can happen is that we have a negative pattern or self talk, and it causes anxiety. Then we look for ways to distract from that. And let’s say it’s drinking. We do it, then feel worse knowing that drinking isn’t helpful. That perpetuates it.
Practicing meditation- even for 5 or 10 minutes can be helpful to open up space and just notice the self talk. You might notice where it stems from too. If you notice it and it’s just a lot to handle, you can recite a mantra/prayer like the Ho’opono’pono, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, I thank you”. I think that can be helpful to ease things a bit.
So with all those books, that was the one of the main points- friendliness… kindness to ourselves. We may have been holding it from ourselves for so long… for a number of reasons. Maybe now is the time to start. Choosing healthy food, exercising, walking… all forms of self kindness.
So if you want, check out those books- or feel into what self kindness means. You might be surprised.
Wishing you health and strength.
